#86 The Self Doesn't Just Describe Who You Are—It Shapes How You Experience the World

#85 The Self as a Dynamic System: Understanding the Many Versions Within This episode explores how the self is more than static qualities; it is an active, ever-changing psychological system. By unraveling the layers of self-concept, self-processes, and the different versions of ourselves, we gain tools for healthier self-management and deeper self-awareness—crucial for both personal growth and effective therapy. The self is like a river—always changing, yet maintaining enough continuity that we still recognize it as the same river. Psychologists developed the schema theory to explain how we interpret new experiences based on existing mental templates about ourselves. The concept of the working self is a subset of self-concept activated by circumstances and relationships. Different relationships activate different “working selves,” influencing behavior and emotional states. The idea of possible selves (actual, ideal, ought, and feared selves) highlights how perceptions of these versions can lead to discouragement or motivation. Problems often arise when these self-versions diverge significantly, creating gaps that foster feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, or stagnation. External influences and social comparisons often distort our perception of what is truly healthy or attainable. Therapy helps individuals differentiate and internalize healthier self-processes, moving from external regulation to internal resilience. The episode foreshadows a deeper exploration of the self’s observer—what it is that notices these various selves and thoughts. 00:00 - Introduction to the self as a dynamic system 00:28 - The metaphor of the river and constant change 00:55 - Self-concept as content versus active system 1:24 - Behavior regulation and self-processes 2:24 - Schema theory and self-interpretation 2:54 - Impact of self-schemas on perception and emotion 3:23 - How different self-views influence reactions and feelings 3:50 - Self-esteem and therapy beyond mere validation 4:20 - Changing how we relate to our existing self 5:04 - The role of therapeutic relationships in shifting self-processes 6:11 - Activation of different working selves in relationships 7:07 - How therapy changes symptom expression through self-concept 8:04 - Multiple versions of the self: actual, ideal, and possible selves 9:34 - Risks of divergence between current and ideal self 10:04 - Living in the gap creates discouragement or living from obligation 11:28 - Cultural influences and the deception of perceived perfection 12:45 - Risks of risky behaviors as emotional regulation 13:43 -self & personal values 14:09 - Therapy as a journey away from feared selves toward healthier ones 15:06 - The ultimate question: Who is the observer of these selves? References  Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. Psychological Review, 94(3), 319–340. Fiske, S. T., & Taylor, S. E. (2021). Social Cognition (4th ed.). Leary, M. R. (2004). The Curse of the Self. Leary, M. R., & Tangney, J. P. (2012). Handbook of Self and Identity (2nd ed.). Markus, H. (1977). Self-schemata and processing information about the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35(2), 63–78. Markus, H., & Wurf, E. (1987). The dynamic self-concept: A social psychological perspective. Annual Review of Psychology, 38, 299–337. Markus, H., & Nurius, P. (1986). Possible selves. American Psychologist, 41(9), 954–969. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E. L., & Target, M. (2002). Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of the Self. Key insights from the episode:Timestamps:This episode leaves us pondering the vital role of self-awareness—the ability to observe our myriad selves without becoming identified with any single version. The next step? Exploring the distinction between the self that is known and the self that does the knowing, unlocking a deeper layer of understanding of consciousness itself.

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